


Bedroom Secrets

by Whisper132



Series: The Honorable Society of Meddlers [6]
Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-16
Updated: 2006-06-16
Packaged: 2017-10-23 13:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/250650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whisper132/pseuds/Whisper132
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Meddlers gather for a milkshake and reveal all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bedroom Secrets

  
“I bet it’s like sticking it in a squid,” Marui said, sipping at a coconut shake. He couldn’t believe they were actually discussing this and really didn’t want to discuss it, but Sengoku brought it up and now they were stuck on the topic. “That’s really gross, Brother Kiyosumi.”

“I second that.” Kamio raised his chocolate parfait and clinked the glass against Marui’s. Marui could tell Kamio didn’t want to be talking about this because he was on his fifth dessert in an hour. Usually Kamio tried to lay off the sweets- he thought it would make him fat and Tachibana wouldn’t want him. Marui thought Tachibana didn’t want Kamio because Kamio was a spazz.

“At least the people I go out with don’t shout stupid catch phrases during sex.” Sengoku stared at Jirou. The rest of the table’s occupants followed.

Jirou crossed his arms over his chest and turned up his nose. “Keigo does not shout catch phrases during sex.” Jirou trailed off into mumbles.

Marui knew he shouldn’t ask, shouldn’t spur the conversation any further, but couldn’t help himself. He’d just consider it payback for the times his teammates teased him because Jirou thought his moves were cool and stalked him around the campus for a week.

“What was that?” Marui asked, poking Jirou in the side with his elbow.

“I said we haven’t had sex yet,” Jirou whispered, his cheeks turning pink.

“Why not?” Kamio had the minutes out and a pencil poised. He was the official secretary because he had the best handwriting. “Two weeks ago, you claimed that your relationship with Atobe had, quote, progressed as far as it possibly could, end quote.” Kamio was also anal enough to look up small details, just to prove you wrong. It was part of the Fudomine Loser’s Bitterness.

“Well we can’t have sex right now, so drop it.” Jirou slid down in the booth, hiding behind his milkshake glass. Kikumaru hauled him up.

“Anything we can help you with?” Kikumaru asked, eyebrows knitting together in thought. He looked concerned, like he really wanted to help, not just embarrass the hell out of Jirou. It was a really good act. “I know where you can get supplies and stuff.”

“Stuff?” Marui’s face went pale at the thought of what this stuff might be. He was squeamish about relationships – given his current boyfriend it was a perfectly reasonable sentiment – and didn’t really want to consider what sort of hideous things Kirihara would devise if he were given _stuff._

Kikumaru blushed and looked around to make sure no one else was listening. “You know, _stuff._ Lube, DVDs, toys…stuff.”

“We can’t have sex and we don’t want any stuff,” Jirou sputtered before taking a long draw of his shake. “Keigo’s family doesn’t know about us and they have people everywhere so we can’t do anything until at least high school.” Jirou’s frustration at the situation was made evident as he gnawed through the straw in his shake. “If we could get around our family physicians, then we’d be fine, but they’re bound to notice something.”

“Didn’t they notice the gigantic hickey you had last month?” Kamio asked, scribbling in the minutes.

“Or how about that bite mark on your leg a couple weeks ago?” Sengoku was smiling. His brain worked in a way normal brains didn’t, a twisted, crazy way that made Kirihara look normal. With Kirihara, Marui _knew_ he was dealing with a sociopath. Sengoku made you think he was a nice guy and really wanted to help you. Then, you got caught in the Hyoutei girls’ bathroom wearing a pair of silver lame bikini underwear and you could never go on Hyoutei property again. Not that that happened. It was just a hypothetical. “Girls’ teeth leave a much smaller mark. They should’ve been able to tell.”

“You let girls _bite_ you?” Marui looked at his shake, unsure if he could continue eating during the present conversation. He decided he could. It would be wrong to let the shake go to waste because Sengoku was trying to convince the rest of the group to join him in whoredom.

“Kirihara bites _you._ I don’t see how there’s a difference.” Sengoku stuck out his tongue, which was dyed blue from his blueberry smoothie. The color clashed with his hair and made him look ridiculous.

“Kirihara is more like a domesticated animal than a human. I think that’s the difference,” Jirou said, gladly taking any opportunity to steer the conversation away from his lack of a sex-life.

“Hey! His mouth’s cleaner than any girl’s. And at least _my_ boyfr- at least Kirihara doesn’t wear women’s shirts.” Marui glared at Jirou and Jirou stuck his tongue out. The two began to shove at one another with their elbows, making the table sway in protest.

“Guys, could we not get kicked out? I like it here.” Kamio threw a napkin between the sparring boys.

The napkin distracted Marui and he grabbed for it, using it to clean away some whipped cream at the corner of his mouth.

“We should get it out in the open,” Sengoku said, slapping his hand to the table. “Jirou, what have you done? How far have you gone?”

Everyone turned to Jirou because, even though they all felt awkward, they were also morbidly curious and, underneath it all, were certain that Jirou was lying and he and Atobe were almost as experienced as the Golden Pair.

“Uh, well…” Jirou swirled his chewed straw in his milkshake, watching the whipped cream melt and twist into it. “We kiss and there’s the hickies – Keigo really likes leaving those – and we were going to take a shower together once, but my mom was home, so we didn’t.”

“That’s it?” Sengoku let out a puff of air and leaned his head against the booth divider. “Man, that’s lame.”

“Well, there was another time, we were kissing and Keigo had me on the bed,” Jirou’s eyes grew distant and a stupid smile made his face glow pinkish. He shook out of it. “Then my mom came in because she needed my laundry. The time after that, we had too much homework to fool around any more than we usually did because we can kiss and read at the same time but I don’t think we could do anything else.”

“You can kiss and read at the same time?” Kikumaru asked, leaning heavily on the table. “How?”

“Practice,” Jirou said. “Lots of practice.” Jirou fell silent, then, and stared into his shake. He was in Keigo-land and wouldn’t be coming back for a while.

“We know Kamio’s zero in action. How about you?” Sengoku focused his aquarian gaze on Marui and Marui jumped, spilling the last three sips of his soda across the table.

“W-what about me?”

“Kirihara-kun’s a very energetic person,” Kamio said, still taking minutes. “Does that energy translate well in bed?”

Marui stared at Kamio. “Don’t write this down!”

Kamio smiled and flipped to the first page of the notebook. “Rule five, all conversations are to be included in the minutes as they may offer insight into future missions and or be of use at such a time.” Kamio snapped the book closed and stuck his tongue out.

“Kirihara and I don’t do things like that. That would be gross.” Marui was still adjusting to goodnight kisses and the occasional hand holding. Akaya started everything else but, once they reached a certain point – usually Marui’s neck was significantly redder by this time – Akaya would place a gentle kiss to Marui’s forehead and back off.

“Gross or just different?” Jirou asked, his embarrassment having fled now that the discussion wasn’t focused on him.

“Gross.”

“So Kirihara’s gross?” Kikumaru asked, leaning into the table, completely engrossed in the discussion.

“No, Kirihara’s not gross, that…other stuff is gross.” Why did they have to ask him such embarrassing questions? “Did you think it was gross when you and Oishi, you know?” Marui didn’t say the sex word, it was too embarrassing.

Kikumaru slid down in his seat until only his eyes and forehead were visible above the table.

“What was that?” Sengoku asked.

Kamio’s pen was poised.

“I think he said that the Golden Pair are saving themselves,” Jirou snickered.

“What?” Sengoku’s eyebrows were at his hairline. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re the _Golden Pair._ You’re the gay tennis icon of the Kantou region!”

“My heroes are virgins,” Kamio whimpered. The pen rolled back and forth on the table, forgotten.

“It’s not a big deal,” Marui said, reaching out to still Kamio’s pen. “Like I said, it’s gross.”

“You don’t know until you try it,” Sengoku said, still a bit shaken from the revelation. He looked at Eiji from the corner of his eye. “Really? You’re not just lying to see what we’ll do?”

“Why does everyone think we’re having sex!” Kikumaru stood in his spot then, realizing people were staring, sat back down again.

“You were offering tips just a minute ago,” Jirou said around a cookie.

Kikumaru found the tabletop very interesting. “Oishi and I did some research before we decided.”

“Maybe we should pay and go home. I’m not so hungry anymore,” Kamio said. He was rocking back and forth in the booth. His face was pale and his hands were shaking. “There’s no hope for me,” he said. “If the Golden Pair aren’t having sex, then I’m doomed for life. Tachibana will never want me.”

“This is all your fault,” Marui told Sengoku while putting an arm around Kamio. “If he jumps in front of the Bullet Train, I’m holding you responsible.”

“The Golden Pair are chaste. That’s the end of the world, right there,” Sengoku said. His eyebrows had yet to return to their point of origin.

“You guys are making way too big a fuss about this,” Jirou said, taking the remainder of Kamio’s banana split.

“I’m taking Brother Akira home. Someone make sure Brother Kiyosumi doesn’t debauch himself stupid to compensate for the lack of sex in the group.” Marui stood and pulled Kamio out of the booth, resting the other boy’s weight on his shoulder. It was a long walk to the train and then a decent ride to Akira’s house, but maybe they’d run into Tachibana and he’d take Kamio the rest of the way.

“I’m never going to have sex…”

Then again, in his current state, Kamio best stay clear of Tachibana, and anyone else for that matter.


End file.
